By Philip Pfanstiel
“So this little blog” (overheard of Tolstoy as he began writing War and Peace) has been puttering around in my brain for a few weeks now. It involves a rather tried and proven truth we all have experienced and know too well.
“Hope defers make the heart sick.” Proverbs 13:12
I hardly need to summon some mythic storytelling prowess to get you to imagine the disappointments, hurts, failures, and regrets that you’ve had in your life. Maybe even this week or today.
A teaching through thread theme (aka “something I say a lot in class” but the title I just came up with makes it sound more betterish) that I’ve been sharing recently is that our perception of reality has a tremendous influence on our reality. If you think you’re lucky, you are. If you think you’re unlucky, you are. If you think you’re blessed, popular, intelligent, talented and destined for success, you are. Conversely, if you think you’re cursed, loner, stupid, talentless and on track for being an utter failure, you are. I won’t argue the merits of this idea here but this concept dates back to Henry Ford (“If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”) and even King Solomon (“as a man thinketh in his heart so is he”).
The long and short of it is that our attitude has a huge impact on how our life turns out. And yet when we hear “Hope defers makes the heart sick” we get out the hankies and recount every injury, injustice, inequity and iniquity. I’ve heard this verse mentioned by preachers, prophets and various Christians a number of times recently and they all stop at “…sick.”
Please don’t stop there. Push through. Always be asking … What’s next? Is there more? What’s on the other side of this failure? How can God turn this for the good?
The rest of the verse is the answer but too often we stop at our disappointment. Stop at our lowest. Stop on day 9. If we call it a noble defeat or lost cause as the sun sets on the Sabbath then we’ll never experience the thrill of what’s next. Sell low, buy high? Too many Christians and believers are terrible investors as they’ll give up right before the promised reversal.
BTW What is next? “but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Now, how many times have you heard that half of the verse?
To me it brings to mind the verse “delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalms 37:4)
So what does this look like? But first an epiphany of sorts. I was going through something a few years back and I was really quite ticked off at God. I felt that He had promised me something and then failed to deliver. I was venting at Him and I heard “a lot of people judge Me based off incomplete knowledge.”
Boom. Mic drop! God ain’t playin’!
I believe this was from God as it was so much deeper, profound and concise than anything I could come up with. Plus it was gentle and He didn’t over-explain it – not that I EVER do that.
I’ve heard it said that “God’s will is what our will would be if we knew all the facts.” I don’t know if I completely agree, but I do think when we view life on the other side of eternity our present struggles will make a lot more sense. Why did God allow this? Why did God do this? Why didn’t this work? Why didn’t He warn me? Why? Why? Why? I know we all will experience this peace eventually. In the present the approach I try to take is to look at things from 10,000 feet. See issues more holistically and guess at how God is working all of these things for our good and the good of others. It gives me great peace to know that God sees so much more than me and is always at work. And though my guesses are usually wrong, He more often surprises me with better answers.
A few years back I was concerned for a friend and asked a minister I knew to pray that God would open my friend’s eyes. The minister corrected me and said that God doesn’t open people’s eyes. They have to choose to do that. I wanted to argue this but I think the concept is sound. God won’t manipulate our hearts, force our eyes open or make us listen with our ears. These are all things we must choose to do.
The information is there for either option and we get to choose. Jesus routinely warned that unless people would open their ears to listen (and their eyes to see) they would miss out of the deliverance that was literally standing right in front of them.
This brings me to the musical accompaniment for this blog.
I heard this song today and it unlocked a lot of these ideas that I’m now writing on. I’ll return to this momentarily.
Both great songs but the lyrics in this verse from “Keep Your Eyes” are especially relevant.
“Don’t let the night become the day
Don’t take the darkness to the grave
I know pain is just a place
The will has been broken
Don’t let the fear become the hate
Don’t take the sadness to the grave
I know the fight is on the way
When the sides have been chosen”
How do we respond to “hope deferred?” Do we push forward in faith? Having done all do we stand? Do we forgive and seek forgiveness? Do we put our hope in the Lord and “Though You slay me yet shall I praise You?”
Sadly I know all too well my own propensity (which seems to be a common thread of us frail sons of Adam and daughters of Eve) is to lash out in anger (at God or others), trade faith for “realism” and withdraw in hurt.
The problem is that this surrender to an unfulfilled hope guarantees that we won’t get to the Tree of Life on the other side of the verse.
The symbolism and promise of the Tree of Life goes back to Garden of Eden and forward to an eternal life with God. This is not a small thing. But what forces were at work when Adam and Eve fell? Pride. Lust. Blame. Peer pressure. Hurt. Rejection. Temptation and Deceit. They gave into it, but we have been given a way out and to the 2nd half – of a longing fulfilled.
If we give in to our hurt we tend to get more of it and out of our abundance we pass it on to others. No sadder but truer words were ever said then “hurt people, hurt people.” The danger of dwelling on our hurts is that we begin to close our eyes, and ears and harden our hearts until our hurts fill and consume us. The curses and plagues that people bring on themselves when they harden their hearts prove again the power (for life and death) found in the gift of free will.
As Christians, our opposing of abortion is right and necessary. But do we abort other gifts of life that God has entrusted to us? Do we abort dreams, visions and callings? Do we abort relationships when they become problematic? We are correctly appalled at the barbarity of late-term abortions, but are we guilty of killing other gifts of God right before they are birthed?
What’s the solution? The challenge to me (and those of you who are still with me) is to see it through.
I had to (and am) learning to trust God. Take Him at His Word and remove my own assumptions, conceptions and preferences. He is not slack concerning His promises. It is true that God’s timing is not our timing … it seems to be a lot slower until in a moment a suddenly and things flip (Joseph, Moses, resurrection). We can’t comprehend or tell Him how He is to do things (though I don’t think He minds discussing things with us and getting our thoughts as long as we remember whose in charge).
And if we have hardened our heart … a simple prayer asking God to break our heart and help will start a process that is both terrifying and glorious. The best example is that of Eustace in C.S. Lewis’ “Voyage of the Dawn Treader” when Aslan must cut away the scales that have turned the boy into a dragon.
When we get to this place of surrender to Him (as opposed to a surrender to circumstances – two VERY different things) then we can Stand. And having done all, Stand.
I’ll leave with an illustration. I’m no gymnast but I’ve gone on my share of twirling spinning rides, merry go rounds and the like. My understanding is that your dizziness is best fixed if you will focus on one thing until everything else stops spinning.
My attempt and suggestion is that that one thing each of us focus on is the promises and calling of God that He has given to you.
Now if you don’t know what that is … ask Him and He will show you. Just purpose in your heart to obey whatever He tells you … and don’t set a timer.
